You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
