Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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