Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
high people should be assigned attendants
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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