the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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