i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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