Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
