He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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