He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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