So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
