Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
