I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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