we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
