FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
