Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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