Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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