if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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