Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
