Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
