And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
