return my video game
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
