If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
