you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
