Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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