I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
