me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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