i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
