So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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