I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
