I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That reminds me...we need to get swords
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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