when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
