i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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