Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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