his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
