So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
