dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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