I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
