my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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