I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
