Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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