I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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