It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
