hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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