i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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