Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
