"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
