they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
