good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No subtext here. People are naked.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
