no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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