you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
