My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
God, I missed his penis.
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