ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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