i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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