It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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