thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
